5 Reasons For A Sore Vagina After Sex + Quick Relief Tips

Sex is supposed to feel good, so soreness afterward is genuinely frustrating. You want to bask in the afterglow, not put sex or masturbation on hold while you wait to feel normal again. Worrying about a possible infection or STI only adds more anxiety on top, which nobody wants. The good news is that a sore vagina after sex can usually be avoided with the right prep (lube and foreplay!), and your doctor can help with most other causes.

Start by figuring out exactly what hurts. Is it internal (vaginal)? Or is it your labia, clitoris, or another part of your vulva? Pinning this down makes it much easier to troubleshoot, and to talk to your doctor if it comes to that.

In the meantime, stay calm and think it through logically as you work out why you have a sore vagina after sex. Narrow it down among these five common causes and read up on treatment so you can feel like yourself again as soon as possible.

1. A Condom Allergy

If you're allergic to latex, the material most condoms are made from, that could easily explain a sore vagina after sex. It typically comes with swelling and itching, and your vulva might feel like it's burning. Topical or oral Benadryl can help ease the symptoms, which usually resolve on their own.

In more severe latex allergy cases, it's worth booking a doctor's visit, since reactions can even cause blistering. Fortunately, condoms made from polyurethane, lambskin, or polyisoprene skip the latex entirely and won't trigger the allergy.

2. Skipping The Lube

Were you so turned on that lube felt unnecessary? That's a common misconception. No matter how aroused you are, lube is always worth having on hand. It eases insertion, keeps things slick for longer, ideal for slow sex sessions, and helps prevent that awful post-sex soreness.

Read: What Is Lube and Why You Should Use Lube

Lube matters even more if rough sex is your thing. We also recommend it whenever foreplay gets skipped, so your partner can enter you more comfortably.

Need one more reason to reach for lube? Trauma to your vaginal walls can raise your risk of an STI or bacterial infection. Ouch. Plus, flavored, warming, or cooling lubes are a fun way to switch things up.

3. Things Got Too Rough

Even with lube, your partner might simply be too rough, and that's not limited to his penis. Overly aggressive clit rubbing, vigorous fingering, or a toy used too forcefully can all leave you sore afterward. Here are a few ways to prevent a sore vagina after sex, and these tips apply just as well if you get carried away during solo play.

• Start slow with fingers or a smaller toy before working up to something larger.
• Remember that rigid items hit harder than softer options like a silicone dildo or your partner's penis.
• His nails should stay trimmed short and smooth to avoid cuts or snags.
• Never use anything for penetration that wasn't designed to safely go inside your body.
• Talk openly about what feels good and what doesn't. Not sure how? Check out our guide to talking about sex.
• Etc.

One genuinely useful tip is taking charge yourself, and that doesn't only mean dominating your man (unless that's your thing, in which case, check out ideas to dominate your man here).

Get on top to control the pace. It's much easier to find the angle and speed that feels right for you. Your man will likely enjoy the view and the confidence you're showing too.

Struggling to work up the nerve to get on top? Read this post: 10 Tips To Feel Super-Confident In Girl On Top Sex Positions.

If soreness hits, take it easy. An oral pain reliever can help. Stick to cotton underwear and breathable pants, and applying ice to the area can offer relief until your vulva feels normal again.

4. An Underlying Medical Condition

Sometimes no amount of lube or slowing down helps, so what's going on? You may be dealing with a medical condition that keeps penetrative sex from feeling good. Vaginismus is one possibility, where penetration of any kind (toy, tampon, fingers, penis) triggers involuntary tensing of the vaginal muscles, making penetration difficult or outright painful.

You'll typically know if vaginismus is the cause because sex hurts during the act itself (see other reasons sex might hurt), not just afterward, and bleeding during sex is also possible. A doctor may suggest dilators or, in some cases, surgery.

Discover 12 reasons you're bleeding after sex.

The second possibility involves the hymen. Forget most of what you think you know about it, it isn't just a flap of skin every woman has covering her vagina that "breaks" the first time she has sex (or rides a bike, etc.). The hymen is actually the stretchy tissue surrounding the vaginal opening, and it generally shouldn't tear during sex at all.

For most women, the hymen stretches easily enough to allow for comfortable sex, though hymens vary in type, and some can make sex more difficult or even impossible. If you feel something blocking your vagina, have never had a period, or can see your hymen covering the opening with a hand mirror, it's worth talking to your doctor about corrective options. This matters even more if the hymen fully blocks the vagina, which can interfere with normal menstruation and lead to further health issues [1].

If this topic interests you, learn the truth about hymens.

You might also want to explore the different types of variation a normal vagina can have.

5. An Infection

Infections can be tricky to pin down. Sometimes they're obvious, like a severe yeast infection, but not always. Some infections only flare up around your period (herpes sometimes behaves this way) or right after sex. Occasional spotting or soreness after sex might not immediately scream "infection" to you, but it's worth keeping on your radar if you can't otherwise explain the pain.

A few infection types worth considering:

• Bacterial vaginosis happens when the natural bacterial balance in your vagina and cervix gets thrown off. Your doctor will typically prescribe antibiotics, and condoms may help prevent BV going forward.
• Yeast infections occur when your vagina's pH balance shifts. They often bring a chunky, cottage-cheese-like discharge and an unpleasant odor, and can pass back and forth between partners. Boric acid suppositories are one treatment option that can also improve taste for your partner.
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), once commonly called STDs, are exactly that, infections. Some clear up with antibiotics, while your body eventually fights off others on its own, as with some strains of HPV [2]. Pain can also signal the start of herpes.

An infection doesn't mean your life is over, and it doesn't automatically mean your partner cheated, bacterial infections can come from sex or masturbation alike, and STIs can take months to show symptoms. We've moved away from viewing people with STIs as "tainted," which is a genuinely good shift. STIs are far more common than most people realize. In fact, the CDC notes that nearly everyone who isn't vaccinated will contract HPV at some point in their life [3].

Talk to your doctor or visit a reproductive health clinic like Planned Parenthood to get tested for STIs. Many tests only require a urine sample, though some infections take longer to become detectable, and your doctor might recommend a blood test for certain STIs.

Things To Keep In Mind

A sore vagina after sex might feel like a strange badge of honor, but it's really a sign that something needs adjusting, whether that's toning down the intensity or reaching for more lube. In most cases, your vulva heals on its own and there's nothing to worry about. But sometimes soreness lingers long enough that you'll need to hold off on sex for a while. In a worst-case scenario, the soreness could actually stem from a small cut. Left untreated, that can turn into a painful infection. It's worth addressing early so you don't end up needing a doctor's visit or a longer break from sex than necessary.

Whatever the underlying cause, talking to your partner matters too. If it's simply a matter of him being too rough, slow things down and add more lube, and maybe more foreplay. Let him know if there's a reason you're not up for sex tonight that has nothing to do with him or your relationship, you're just giving your body time to heal.

Soreness after sex is fairly common but usually avoidable. If it happens occasionally, there's probably nothing to worry about. But if a sore vagina after sex becomes a regular pattern, it's worth considering what to change, or when to check in with your doctor.

October 19, 2020