13 Telltale Signs He's Ready For A Relationship

Dating is confusing territory for everyone involved. You meet. You flirt. You sleep together. You hang out. Maybe your feelings deepen and you start wondering about taking things further. But is he thinking the same thing? How can you tell when he's ready for a relationship? Or is he simply around because it's easy and he's bored?

Watch for the following signs he wants a relationship. The more time and effort he invests in you, the stronger the odds this is where he's headed!

1. He Actually Uses The Word "Date"

Modern dating gets murky when everything feels so casual. We hang out, we sleep together often enough that it's earned its own label: hookup culture. Actual dressed-up, planned dates are rarer these days. But here's the upside: when a guy specifically asks you on a date, or talks about dating you, that's a sign he's serious enough to be considering a relationship. Keep an ear out for this one!

2. He Shows Up Consistently

A guy who's unsure of what he wants (and this applies to some women too) tends to be inconsistent. He'll pop up when convenient, when he's lonely, or when he's bored. He won't necessarily be around when you actually need him, and he won't make real time for you. Bottom line: you're not a priority.

That changes when he wants more than sex. He'll go out of his way to see you, and his presence signals he's emotionally invested too, something any healthy relationship needs. Other signs he's relationship-minded include keeping you updated on his plans, even the ones that don't include you, which naturally makes it easier to sync up your schedules.

3. He Reaches Out Without An Agenda

Maybe it's not always a phone call, not everyone loves calling, but if he's reaching out through any channel and it's clearly not about getting laid, that's a strong sign he's after a relationship. He just wants to check in. He wants to hear about your day and share his. Great news if you feel the same, though it might read as clingy if you're not on the same page.

4. He Opens Up About His Feelings

He likes you, and he's not shy about showing it, and not just when he's had a few drinks. Sober, he's honest that he has feelings and wants something real with you. He avoids the mind games that leave you guessing where you stand when he's genuinely interested in a relationship. Mixed signals just delay whatever future you two might have.

5. He's Stopped Seeing Other People

There's usually a stretch early on where he might be juggling a few different people. But once he's genuinely considering dating you, he'll stop seeing, texting, and sleeping with other women. You're the only one on his radar, and you know what that means, he's thinking monogamy.

6. He's In No Rush

And not in a confusing, noncommittal way. He's holding back because he wants things to actually work with you, not because he's using you as a rebound. Maybe he waited a while before kissing you or sleeping with you.

7. He Gets A Little Jealous

We're not talking irrational, controlling jealousy, that's unhealthy. But a bit of jealousy when you spend lots of time with other people, especially guy friends, can actually work in your favor if you want him to want you. He's not snooping through your phone, but he's curious about your childhood best friend. If you're relationship-minded too, reassure him, let him know he's the one you want, have the monogamy conversation, and you'll likely be fine.

8. He's Protective Of You

When a guy genuinely cares, he wants to keep you safe. That might show up as concern over you walking home alone at night or a bit of wariness around other guys. As long as his intentions are good, this is concern, not control. You'll probably feel flattered, even if you're perfectly capable of handling yourself!

9. He Introduces You To His Friends And Family

Few signs say "relationship" louder than him introducing you to the people who matter most to him. It's his way of showing you matter too, and that you're sticking around. If he only wanted something casual, he wouldn't bother with introductions, you might not even learn their names!

10. He Wants To Know The Real You

Looking for signs he wants a relationship? Pay attention to what he actually asks about. Is he curious about your favorite sex position (learn over 100 sex positions here)? Or does he want to know about your childhood, your closest friends, and your hopes and dreams? Someone looking for a fling won't bother asking questions meant to build a real connection.

Also watch for the signs that he enjoys sex with you. These differ somewhat from the signs that he is making love to you, which point to something deeper.

11. He Notices The Small Stuff

It's one thing when he asks you questions directly, but it's an even bigger sign when he picks up on things simply because he's paying attention. Does he know your coffee order, or that you call your mom every Sunday? This kind of attentiveness usually makes him a great gift-giver too. It's genuinely great when someone observes those little details because they want to, not because they're told to. If he's not there yet and you are, trying to force that kind of care rarely works out.

12. He Talks About What's Ahead

When your guy starts saying "we" and making future plans, he's likely picturing settling down with you. At first this might just be goals for the month or year, but if he brings up something like a spring trip together, he's clearly folded you into his future, and that's a great sign!

Related: Guys who only want sex typically don't talk about the future.

13. He Brings Up The Relationship Itself

The clearest sign he wants a relationship? He actually says the word. It might slip out casually, or he might sit down and have a real talk about what he wants from you two. Sometimes he'll avoid the word entirely just to not scare you off, which is exactly why it helps to watch for these signs while giving off a few of your own. That makes it much easier to eventually have the talk and go "Facebook official."

If the rest of these signs aren't showing up, pay attention to his actions instead. They tend to speak louder than words anyway!

Lastly, showing any of the signs that he loves going down on you can also hint that he's after a relationship with you.

On the flip side, if you don't share his feelings, stay alert for signs like these, because you'll need to have an honest conversation and possibly end things sexually if you don't want to lead him on. It's rarely a fun talk, but having it sooner rather than later spares him a harder blow down the line.

Despite the stereotype that guys avoid commitment, that's not always true. There's a fine line between convincing yourself a relationship is coming and it actually happening, though. If these signs are largely absent, you might want to play it cool. But if he's checking most of these boxes and you're into it, congratulations! Here's hoping for smooth sailing ahead.

December 17, 2020