16 Common Questions About Having Sex During Pregnancy

If you're pregnant or trying to conceive with your partner, you've probably got a long list of questions. Your doctor can address plenty of them, and there's no shortage of resources covering the rest. Understandably, bringing up sex during your next prenatal appointment can feel a bit awkward. But rest assured, you're far from the first person to wonder about any of these common sex-and-pregnancy questions.

While the guidance below is medically sound, don't hesitate to reach out to your doctor with additional questions, to confirm anything here, or if you notice bleeding or ongoing pain related to sex during pregnancy.

1. Is It Safe to Have Sex While Pregnant?

According to the Mayo Clinic, sex is completely safe throughout a normal, healthy pregnancy. Your baby is shielded by your uterine muscles and amniotic sac, and the mucus plug seals your cervix to help block infection. And no, your baby can't "see" your partner's penis during sex. A fetus doesn't even open its eyes in the womb until around the eighth month, and there wouldn't be anything to see regardless!

Rest easy knowing that orgasm may trigger small contractions, but they pose no danger to your baby.

That said, if your doctor has put you on bed rest, cautioned you against overexertion, or you're navigating a higher-risk pregnancy, sex might not be advisable. When in doubt, always check with your doctor about whether sex is safe for you. If you've had a previous miscarriage, your doctor may suggest avoiding sex during the first trimester this time around. And if you're carrying multiples, avoiding sex during the third trimester is generally recommended.

2. Can Sex Cause a Miscarriage?

According to the American Pregnancy Association, miscarriage is most likely to occur during the first trimester. A range of factors can contribute to miscarriage, including:

• Hormones
• Smoking and drug use
• Age
• Physical trauma
• Improper implantation

Sex itself, however, isn't a recognized cause. If a miscarriage happens to follow sex, it's almost certainly due to an unrelated, pre-existing factor. Source.

3. Will I Still Want Sex While Pregnant?

You might find yourself uninterested in sex during pregnancy, especially if you're feeling less attractive or your hormones have dampened your libido. On the flip side, you might crave sex more than ever before. Either way, staying emotionally connected to your partner matters, so he doesn't feel rejected or like you're repulsed by him. Check out this post for more on how sex drive can shift during pregnancy.

We've also put together a guide on talking about sex with your partner.

4. Will My Partner Still Want Sex With Me?

It's fairly common for partners to feel a bit hesitant about sex once you're pregnant. After all, you're growing a whole person inside you, and your body is changing (or about to)! He might worry about hurting you or the baby, or wonder what the baby can perceive. As already mentioned, sex poses no risk to a typical pregnancy, and there's certainly no chance of the baby forming any memory of it!

5. Can I Have Oral or Anal Sex While Pregnant?

Giving — and especially receiving — oral sex is entirely safe during pregnancy. It can lead to some incredible orgasms too, since heightened sensitivity is common while pregnant.

Anal sex, much like vaginal sex, is generally safe during pregnancy as well. Just be generous with lube. Take a look at our guide to comfortable anal sex. If things felt tight before pregnancy, they may feel even tighter now, which brings us to the next question.

6. Does Sex Feel Different While Pregnant?

Even if your desire for sex is through the roof, the actual sensation of sex during pregnancy might feel unfamiliar or even a bit uncomfortable. Plenty of women notice that sex feels different than it used to, even with identical positions and stimulation. This comes down to several factors, including increased blood flow around your uterus, which can create a "fuller" sensation you may or may not enjoy.

Because your cervix becomes more sensitive, deep penetration might not feel as good as it once did. Slowing things down, choosing positions that let you control depth, or wrapping your fingers around the base of your partner's penis can all help manage this.

Your breasts might also feel unusually tender, to the point where touch feels unwelcome. Alternatively, you might become even more responsive to breast and nipple play, possibly even enough to orgasm from it alone.

7. Is It Safe to Use Sex Toys While Pregnant?

Pregnancy hormones can leave you wanting more than even a devoted partner can provide, so what's the solution? Good news — your favorite vibrator or dildo is still fair game during pregnancy. Just be extra diligent about cleaning your toys according to instructions. Glass, ceramic, silicone, wood, and stainless steel toys without motors can typically be boiled for three minutes to sterilize them. A 10% bleach solution also works well for thoroughly cleaning nonporous toys.

Every toy should be washed with soap and water before and after each use, and between sterilizations. For jelly, TPR/TPE, and other porous materials that can't be fully sterilized due to their microscopic holes, consider using a condom over them instead.

8. Can Sex Cause Bleeding During Pregnancy?

You may already notice some breakthrough bleeding in your first trimester, and bleeding during or after sex is fairly common too, according to the American Pregnancy Association. This happens because your cervix is more sensitive than usual. A small amount of blood generally isn't cause for concern — a pad or panty liner should handle it. Avoid more sex or inserting tampons, toys, or douches until the bleeding stops, and then you're clear to resume.

9. What About Sexual Hygiene?

Some women become more prone to UTIs and similar infections during pregnancy, and urinating after sex to flush the urethra may help reduce that risk. Source. You might also consider using a condom during pregnancy sex — not for pregnancy prevention, obviously, but to limit bacterial spread that can cause UTIs or infections like bacterial vaginosis, and to simplify cleanup.

Rinsing your vulva with water and unscented soap before and after sex can also help ward off infections.

10. Can STIs Pass to the Baby During Pregnancy?

Relatively few STIs pass from mother to baby during pregnancy itself, but infection can still occur during delivery as the baby passes through the birth canal. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, and bacterial vaginosis can all transmit this way, though all are treatable.

It's worth noting that syphilis, HIV, and occasionally herpes can cross the placenta directly. That's why using condoms remains important if you're having sex while pregnant — while pregnancy prevention isn't a concern, STI protection still is.

The American Pregnancy Association offers more information about STI transmission during pregnancy.

11. Which Sex Positions Work Best?

Positions that let you control the angle of penetration and the pace of sex tend to work well during pregnancy. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or straddling your partner while he's seated in a chair are all good options. Check out this post for more positions that might suit you while pregnant.

Your growing belly is another factor — it can get in the way or simply feel heavy. Positions that support your bump, like spooning, may become more comfortable as your pregnancy progresses.

12. Can Sex Actually Induce Labor?

There's an old wives' tale suggesting sex near your due date can help nudge labor along, similar to the belief that spicy food does the trick. The evidence is mostly anecdotal. Still, feel free to enjoy sex late in pregnancy as long as you're comfortable doing so — it might not kickstart labor, but we're all for having sex whenever you're able to!

13. Does Sex Trigger Contractions While Pregnant?

As your due date nears, you may start noticing false labor, known as Braxton Hicks contractions. Several things can bring these on, sex included. Specifically, orgasm can cause or mimic Braxton Hicks contractions, even though it's not the real thing. Source.

You'll typically feel tightness across the front of your belly, which is distinct from true contractions. False labor also tends to be irregular in both timing and duration. If sex brings on Braxton Hicks contractions, they should fade on their own.

If you're able, enjoy sex during pregnancy! New sensations and the dramatic changes happening in your body can actually be quite arousing, and there's usually nothing wrong with having sex while pregnant. That said, plenty of women simply lose interest during pregnancy, and that's completely normal too — just be sure to keep the conversation open with your partner if that's where you land.

January 12, 2021