How to Tell if a Coworker Likes You: 5 Clues to Read His Signals

The workplace is where a huge number of relationships get their start. But before anything can happen, you first need to figure out whether a coworker actually likes you or is simply being friendly. This guide walks you through how to tell if a coworker likes you.

How to Tell if a Coworker Likes You

Most signs that a coworker is into you overlap with the general signs that any guy likes you. The difference is that you're probably spending more time near this particular person because of your job (unless your workplace is enormous, in which case maybe not).

Take a look at this list of signs that a guy likes you first, then come back for the work-specific clues that he's got his eye on you.

1. Watch His Body Language

Eye contact is usually the easiest tell that a coworker likes you. People tend to use their eyes in one of two ways when they're interested in someone. Some make eye contact frequently — they simply enjoy looking at you.

Others do the opposite: a coworker who quickly looks away the second you glance up is showing you something too. We often don't even notice we've been staring until the other person catches our eye. The instinct is to look away fast and act like nothing happened, but very few people pull that off convincingly!

This staring pattern shows up a lot in people who are naturally shy. They might not have the confidence to flirt outright or ask you out.

Worth a read: How to tell if a shy guy likes you.

Mirrored body language is another good indicator of someone's feelings toward you. This means he starts unconsciously copying your posture and gestures without even realizing it. Keep an eye on your coworker's body language for these cues.

See also: How to Read Body Language and Know What He's Thinking!

Physical contact is another giveaway. We're not talking full-blown PDA — and hopefully not at work at all — but a hand on your shoulder or arm, brushing the small of your back as you pass through a doorway, or guiding you into a meeting room are all small touches worth noticing. If the feeling isn't mutual, this kind of touch can feel intrusive, uncomfortable, or even cross into harassment territory. But if you're into him too, it might send a pleasant shiver down your spine instead.

2. Notice Where He Chooses To Spend Time

A coworker who likes you will find ways to carve out time to talk with you. That might mean lingering near your department, chatting with you during breaks or lunch, or showing up early and staying late just for the chance to talk to you — or simply to be near you.

When a coworker keeps asking you for small favors, he's not just creating excuses to interact — asking for help tends to build a bond with the person asked, whether or not that's the intention. So if he keeps asking for your help, particularly when he clearly doesn't need it or you're not really in a position to assist, take that as a sign he's interested. He likely just wants an excuse to talk but isn't sure how else to start.

Think a coworker likes you but can't seem to strike up a conversation on his own? Don't sit around waiting. Go ahead and start it yourself.

3. He'll Find Ways To Show You He's Thinking About You

Small gifts are another telltale sign a coworker has feelings for you — maybe candy, a coffee run in the morning, or something silly like a stapler for your desk. If what he gives you happens to be something you mentioned wanting, that's proof he's actually been listening, which is a strong signal.

Wondering how to tell if a coworker likes you? Pay attention to your physical proximity. Does he linger close by or find reasons to be in your space? Chances are he wants to be near you.

One of the clearest signs someone at work (or school) likes you is that he waits around for you — before lunch, before a meeting, or even hanging around the lobby as you arrive or leave. Those extra minutes at the start and end of the day give him more time with you. That said, it can be tricky to distinguish this from ordinary friendliness, since you might do the same thing for coworkers you're simply close with, including other women.

Perhaps the strongest tell of all is that he wants to see you outside of work entirely. He might not phrase it as a date, but he'll find an excuse — a new restaurant, a work project — to spend time with you off the clock. If it seems like he's hoping for something romantic, that's your cue to either make a move yourself or signal that you'd welcome one from him.

Watch for behavior he saves just for you — a different tone of voice, a smile reserved only for you. These small things can create a sense of being in on something together. Just stay alert, because close friends can act this way too.

4. Sometimes It Doesn't Look Like Interest At All

Interest doesn't always show up as kindness. Think back to a boy from childhood who was mean to you simply because he had a crush. Grown men can act the same way. It might not register as outright meanness — more like flirtation gone sideways, or he might come across as distant and cold. If he's in a position of authority over you, he might pile on extra work or criticize your performance, when really it's about feelings he can't quite process.

But if he's generous with compliments, especially paired with a bit of a twinkle in his eye, that's usually a genuine sign he likes you. He may even be trying to flirt and hoping you'll catch on, especially if you're interested too.

5. So He Likes You — Now What?

Sometimes you'll suspect a coworker likes you and start worrying about it because you don't feel the same way. You might want to steer clear of leading him on or creating an awkward dynamic. But keep in mind he might not actually like you at all — plain friendliness gets mistaken for flirting more often than you'd think. It's often smarter not to confront it head-on, so you avoid giving false signals, though sometimes it's best to just let it be.

Once you've confirmed a coworker really does like you, it's time to decide what comes next. If you're into him too, this could be exciting, but there's plenty to weigh first. Your company might have policies against employees dating each other, and if there's any kind of reporting relationship between you two, romantic or sexual involvement is likely to be especially frowned upon or outright prohibited.

Even without formal rules against workplace dating, think about whether you actually want your personal and professional life to overlap. Gossip is a real risk, and you'll need to think through what happens if things end badly — coworkers might keep talking (he might even fuel the rumor mill himself) or end up picking sides, the way friends and family sometimes do after a breakup.

Still, if you're confident you can handle a romantic or sexual relationship with him like adults, fallout included, and it wouldn't break any workplace rules, it might be worth exploring where things go if you're interested too. Plenty of relationships begin at work, and you never really know where one might lead.

You might even end up enjoying some sex at work — just don't get caught.

Test the waters with some low-key, work-appropriate flirting — banter, playful teasing, that kind of thing. If you notice his particular flirting style, mirror it right back at him.

Now that you know how to tell if a coworker likes you, you're better equipped to keep a potential situation from spiraling. Just be careful not to mistake ordinary friendliness for genuine interest, and handle things tactfully either way — whether he's not actually into you, or you're not into him.

January 17, 2021