19 Ways To Turn Up Your Sex Appeal

Have you ever met someone who was just magnetically attractive? The way he speaks, carries himself, moves through a room — something about his whole presence makes you want to be closer, maybe even get into a little trouble together. That's sex appeal at work, and now you want in on it too — because to draw someone like that in, you need your own version of that magnetism.

Is sex appeal something you're simply born with, though? We don't buy that. Visual sex appeal can be built through how you present yourself, and body language and behavior are just as powerful a lever, once you know how to use them.

Keep reading to get a handle on this thing called sex appeal.

Building Sex Appeal With Body Language

Your mouth might say one thing while your body says something else entirely. Posture, arm placement, even which direction you're facing — all of it sends a message to anyone who knows how to read body language. A few examples:

1. A genuine smile is always inviting, but watch out for one that doesn't reach the eyes — people notice.
2. Crossed arms or legs read as closed-off, which works against you if sex appeal is the goal.
3. Standing tall makes you look taller (and gives your chest a natural boost).
4. Fidgeting or a bouncing leg reads as nervous energy.
5. A light touch on his arm is an easy flirting move. Leaning in slightly also signals interest. Learn more about flirting.
6. You'll often mirror someone's body language naturally when you're into them — you can also do it deliberately, just don't copy every single move.
7. Make eye contact and turn toward him to show you're engaged. You don't need to stare unblinking to prove you're invested in the conversation.
8. Walk with purpose and grace. Stay aware of the space around you, and don't shrink yourself down — own the room you're in.

One simple way to sharpen your body language is to study it in others — notice how confident, magnetic people carry themselves, then borrow from that.

Boosting Sex Appeal Through Appearance

Let's be clear upfront: there's no single body type, size, or hair color that automatically makes you hot in anyone's eyes. Even if you don't fit whatever society currently deems conventionally attractive, someone out there is captivated by exactly what you've got. Maybe you already own your appeal — bigger butt, visible stretch marks, an athletic build rather than a delicate one. Whatever it is, you're sexy as you are.

That said, here are some concrete ways to dial up your sex appeal for a night out if you want to make a real impression.

1. Dress the part: What "sexy" looks like on you depends entirely on your style, body, and comfort zone. Pencil skirts? Jeans? A plunging neckline? A sharp blazer? A leather jacket? An elegant dress? Heels or knee-high boots? Any of these can radiate sex appeal, especially paired with genuine confidence. There's no single formula, so feel free to skip whatever's trendy if it's not you. And if jeans-and-a-tee is normally your uniform (which is plenty sexy in its own right), trying something more feminine or flirty for a night out can be a fun shift — people might raise an eyebrow, but don't let that stop the experiment.
2. Take care of your clothes: This just means keeping your wardrobe looking sharp. Intentional distressing on denim can look great, but a random hole in your blouse just looks like neglect. Pay extra attention to lace, mesh, and knitwear, since those wear out fast. Ironing has fallen out of fashion, but wrinkles never look good — hanging clothes in the bathroom while you shower lets steam smooth them out effortlessly.
3. Put in a little makeup effort: You don't need a dramatic look — some foundation to even your skin tone, mascara to define your eyes, and lip gloss to draw attention to your mouth can go a long way toward enhancing what's already there. If you're unsure where to start, a makeup counter can offer free advice and product picks, and there's no shortage of beauty tutorials on YouTube if you want to level up to something more elaborate.
4. Take care of your body: Nobody's expecting perfection, but small habits add up. Some of your current routines might actually be working against your sex appeal without you realizing it — smoking dulls your skin and speeds up aging, poor sleep shows up as under-eye bags, too much alcohol adds weight, and too little water hurts skin and hair. Eating well, staying hydrated, sleeping enough, and moving your body will help you look — and feel sexier — from the inside out.
5. Smell good: Ever spotted someone across the room who looked incredible, only to be disappointed once you got closer and caught a bad smell? Maybe it was smoke, unwashed clothes, or neglected oral hygiene. Scent plays a bigger role in attraction than people realize, so smelling good genuinely matters — though it can be tricky to judge your own scent objectively.

Building Sex Appeal Through Behavior

Sex appeal isn't just skin deep. Great looks paired with a personality that falls flat might get you plenty of hookups, but they won't necessarily get you a lasting relationship. You probably know someone like this already — it's always easier to spot in others than in ourselves.

Here's how to build sex appeal through the way you act:

1. Get comfortable talking to people. Shyness or nervousness isn't a flaw — plenty of guys are into that. But if anxiety makes it genuinely hard to connect with someone new, especially a potential date, that discomfort tends to be noticeable and can make everyone around you feel a bit uneasy too. Working on conversational confidence and finding ways to calm your nerves (a glass of wine, maybe) can help.
2. Own your confidence. This builds directly on the last point — a lack of confidence tends to show, whether through constant self-deprecation or worrying you'll seem too clingy. Those habits wear thin fast. Even in moments you don't feel fully sure of yourself, a smile can carry you through. It's fine to laugh off nerves in passing, just don't dwell on them — most people are too caught up in their own heads to notice unless you draw attention to it yourself.
3. Hold your ground. Guys tend to respect a woman with genuine opinions. If you come across someone who doesn't, it's worth asking why — and maybe reconsidering whether he's worth your time. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself, and if you can disagree respectfully, it signals real maturity.
4. Try new things. There's truth to the idea that trying something unfamiliar regularly keeps life interesting. It's easier said than done when anxiety or low confidence get in the way, but pushing through even once can give you a real confidence boost. Showing someone you're willing to try things outside your comfort zone is its own kind of sex appeal — and it doesn't have to be a huge gesture. Ordering something unexpected off a menu or seeing a film you know nothing about both count.
5. Keep a positive outlook. Constant negativity isn't magnetic to anyone. Staying upbeat, even through rough patches, makes you far more approachable — and steering clear of gossip or trash-talking others helps too, since that habit tends to reflect poorly on the person doing it.
6. Be genuinely interesting. It might feel like something you either have or don't, but that's not really true. A sharp sense of humor can make even a mundane story engaging. Staying involved in hobbies, keeping up with friends, reading, and following current events all give you material to draw from in conversation. Putting real thought into the world around you naturally makes you more interesting — and that's a direct boost to sex appeal.

One thing people often misread about sex appeal: it's not about being overtly sexual around the clock. That approach tends to come across as intense or even off-putting to the people around you. Suggestion beats overt display almost every time — nobody needs to watch you attempt to deep-throat a banana to get the idea. A smile and a slow lip-lick communicate plenty without trying too hard.

The more you practice these habits, the more naturally they'll come. Before long, you'll be carrying that sex appeal wherever you go. Just don't smooth over the quirks that make you distinctly you — those are part of the appeal too.

October 31, 2020